Wednesday, April 27, 2011

EC Question and Successes!

Anyway, real quick on the Elimination Communication Subject.  I want to address a question:

So with EC, when does she start doing it on her own without you having to put her on the potty? It just seems like you'd be doing this soooo much for up to a year or two.

I think most people have some preconceived notions when it comes to EC.  First of all, most people probably imagine that we're running her to the potty a zillion times a day, or that we're sitting by the potty for long amounts of time trying to get her to go.  I suppose that may be what happens for many when they are first starting out, but it's certainly not like that for us.

Take this morning for example: Keagan woke up and needed me to change his diaper. I took it off, cleaned him, then sent him to the bathroom.  While he was in the bathroom, I set Evangeline on her potty (right outside the bathroom in my bedroom).  Keagan quickly pottied, and I put fresh pants on him.  When he was finished, I removed Evie from her potty and put a fresh diaper on her. 

Taking your child to the potty really isn't that big of a hassle. I mean, okay, it is when you're in the middle of cooking dinner or in a deep discussion with a friend who stopped in for a short visit, but, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not the pain-in-the-rear that it often sounds like.  I used to think the same thing, though.

Once you get used to their "routine", it's really not a big deal. I know Evangeline is going to need to potty three times in the morning- once after her first feeding, again about fifteen minutes later, and again around thirty minutes later.  She always needs to go more frequently in the morning.  She will play for a couple hours, then be ready for a nap, so I'll feed her, take her to the potty, and then she'll snooze.  Every time she wakes up, she'll want to nurse and then potty.

One thing I realized is that a lot of the time when she is fussy and I believe I have met all her needs, she really is fussing because she needs to go to the bathroom.  Previously, I believed it was because she was still hungry or she was just being figgity.  I read someone else's EC story online, and she mentioned this... so I began taking Evangeline to the potty when she was fussing and wiggling around.  Sure enough!

It's interesting, because I had almost made this connection beforehand, but fallen a bit short. When she was fussy and I knew she wasn't hungry and she didn't want to lay down and go to sleep, I would check her diaper.  If she had fussed for a while, it would be wet, but in the beginning, it would normally be dry.  So, she would fuss because she needed to go to the bathroom (and Momma wasn't getting the hint!), and then she'd fuss because she didn't want to sit in a soiled diaper!  I had caught on to her fussiness about not wanting to sit in a wet diaper, but it had not clicked that the fussing had started because she needed to go and did not want to go in her diaper.

Smart kid. Dull mom.

The way I figure is, I'm already in the habit of frequently changing her diaper. It's not really more of a hassle to take her to the potty.  When we had just started out, she would sit on the potty for a maximum of 5 minutes, but now it usually takes less than a minute- at most, two- for her to go.  It really did not take us long to get into a nice little routine, and she will usually go when I set her on the potty, even if she only needs to go just a little bit.

Thing is, I know many of us are kind of lazy about changing diapers. We are used to disposables which tell us they are more absorbent and hold more- and so this causes us to leave our babies in a soiled diaper longer.  It may be more difficult for someone using disposables to switch to the EC mindset because you likely aren't used to changing the diaper as often.  Cloth diapers usually need to be changed more often, unless you have loaded it up for overnight.  But, in order to keep a cloth diapered heiny trim and dry, you'll need to change it more often, which causes you to pay more attention to when your baby is wet.  Then you get more of a feel for how much they go... and often when they go.

Here's another way to think about it.  I am saving about 6 diapers a day. Six diapers. That's 42 diapers a week. For disposables (the store brand), that's about $15 saved.  Double that for brands like Huggies.  In cloth-speak, that's a lot of laundry I don't have to do (and it's money saved on water, energy, and detergent)!

It's most definitely worth it to me.

And, since we're also potty-training Keagan, I can use Evangeline as his "timer" as well.  If he goes to the potty almost every time she goes to the potty, he'll be dry all day.  So, while she sits on her little potty, he sits on the big potty- and hey, two birds, one stone.

Currently, Evangeline uses one diaper at night- this normally gets her through the whole night.  This absolutely amazes me!  She wakes up in the middle of the night- dry- and wants to nurse. I nurse her, she falls asleep in my arms. If she fusses, I'll get up and put her on the potty.  Normally, when we wake up in the morning, her diaper is wet, but it is not soaked as it used to be.  I'll nurse her, put her on the potty, and she'll fill that sucker up.  (I have tried putting her on the potty before she nurses, but she won't have it. She demands nursing first!) She soils about three diapers a day (including the one at night), sometimes four if we're out and about. For a baby, this is pretty significant (in my opinion).  Keagan soils 3-4 diapers a day as a toddler... without using the potty.

I'm really not sure when Evangeline will be able to take herself. I mean, she'd have to be able to walk- right?  I suppose, once she is able to walk, she may be able to toddle over to her little puppy potty and plant her little booty on it.  The goal isn't really to potty train her though.  I guess you could say it is a by-product of using this method.  The goal is simply to provide for her need. She doesn't want to sit in a soiled diaper, and she's made it clear she doesn't usually even want to pee in the diaper.

I realize EC is not for everyone, but it really works with our family, so I'm going with it.  Obviously, we still use a diapers, and a combination of these things is what works for us.

Today, Evangeline went for the first time while we were out running errands. I held her over the public potty and she tinkled- A LOT! I noticed she was fussing and arching her back. Her diaper was dry, so we hurried to the potty, and boy, did she have to go!

I was so proud of her! I'm sure Evangeline is thinking, "Yay! I'm sure glad my mom is finally getting this all figured out!"   What can I say, I finally decided to listen to what my Granny has been telling me! She used this method on my father!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Eliminaton Communication: Theoretically...

I loved this theoretical parallel, definitely makes me think....

What if your mother was in a nursing home, and she called and told you about a policy change at the home.  The nursing home decided that due to a staff shortage, all the residents who can not go to the bathroom without assistance must wear Depends.  They will be changed on a two hour schedule.  Your mother complains that she sometimes goes to the bathroom a few minutes after her Depends has been changed but must sit in it for the next two hours because the staff refuses to give her a clean one, even if she requests it.  Wouldn't you be appalled at that treatment?  Why?  Because human beings should not have to sit in their own waste.  Now isn't your baby as much of a human being as your mother?

[Source]

Part 1: What is Elimination Communication (EC)?

Is it a form of potty training?

I suppose, for some, it is- but I believe babies are already fairly potty trained when born. It's the parents that need the training!  EC is simply responding to your baby's need to pee or poo, just as you would when your baby is hungry and needs to nurse.

Just as a baby communicates her hunger to her parents, a baby also has ways of communicating her need to eliminate.  If you already have a baby, you've probably already seen some of these signals, like baby grunting or bearing down while holding her breath when she's trying to poo.

How will I know my baby needs to go?

You likely already know baby's signals for when she needs a diaper change, right?  When Evangeline soils her cloth diaper, she fusses and wiggles- and if I ignore these signals or misinterpret them, she'll continue getting louder and louder until I get the message.  (We do not use a "stay-dry" layer- the layer which wicks moisture away from the skin.)  So, you see, you've already learned how to read baby's cues when she needs her diaper changed, so you can definitely learn how to decipher her signals when she needs to go to the potty!

You may have also figured out that your baby has a routine. You may have noticed he poos at a certain time each day or needs to be changed after every nap.

Most babies need to relieve their bladders soon after they awaken and shortly after nursing.  I already had an idea of Evangeline's elimination routine, so this helped when we began. 

Some people begin EC at birth, but many start at other points during the baby's first year or so.  When I was pregnant with Evangeline, I considered doing it but promptly forgot about it once she was born!

DiaperFreeBaby.org has wonderful tips on how to tell if your baby needs to go.  I love that they point out that intuition can be a great indicator as well, because sometimes I just "know" she needs to go, and I have no other explanation for it.  Click here to read about signals and cues.

There are loads of tips available on the internet, and the EC section on the Mothering.com forums are a great place to get feedback and advice.

Little bodies on little potties

I am really surprised by how quickly Evangeline has caught on with Elimination Communication. I say that, but I realize it's actually me who has caught on, and not her.  She's probably surprised by how long it took me to catch on!  We only used three diapers yesterday! Three!  I had a hard time catching pee after she napped because I didn't get to her in time.  She's the sort that normally slowly wakes up- she lays there for a bit and stares at the ceiling or runs her hands over her blankets.  Sometimes she'll quietly play with a toy or her pacifier. So, when I'm busy about the house, I don't hear her wake-up until she's already wet her diaper.  So, our three wet diapers were from nap times, which- hey, is pretty good for a beginner.

When I started cloth diapering, cloth was very, very addictive. It still is, but I simply don't have the money to purchase more diapers. There are better things to spend my money on, even though I would like to buy a couple more covers since she is rapidly outgrowing her Thirsties Duo Wraps (size 1).  Still, I have other cloth diapers she can fit in, although they aren't super cute and are rather plan. They do the job, and that's what matters.

Elimination communication is very addictive. It's absolutely thrilling to be able to provide for your baby's needs in this way- just as it is thrilling to be able to feed my baby from my own body.  I honestly felt like there was this missing bond between Evangeline and I- not that we don't have a great bond, but it was just not as close as the bond Keagan and I had.  Yesterday, I realized that I felt like that gap in our bond had been filled since we were spending more time together and bonding over... well.. elimination.

I realize it sounds completely goofy, and I know some of you are just rolling your eyes here.  That's fine by me, because it's not your baby, she's mine.  I'm not telling you that you need to try it, so I hope none of you feel like you have to justify why you don't.  Really, I get it.  After all, it took me seven years to even begin to consider the idea and over six months to really put it into practice!

I realized last night that Evangeline will hold her breath a bit and get very concentrated on the potty right before she's about to tinkle.  You almost miss it if you're not paying attention because it's one of those expressions that is gone in the blink of an eye, but I recognized it... and was excited about it.   She definitely bears down to go, which tells me she definitely knows how to hold her potty and knows how to release it as well.  I get a little giddy over this because I have heard some babies lose this ability over time because they realize (on some level) they can go any time they want and the diaper will catch it.  This is what led many doctors to believe that children don't learn to control their bowels until they are around the age of two- because many of them seem to lose the ability, but regain it in the toddler years.

Evangeline loves her potty, and sometimes I'll sit her beside it (usually bare bottomed on a folded up birdseye flat or a prefold) and let her play with it.  She pounds on it like a drum, sings to it, pokes at it.... it's pretty funny to watch.



We bought this Puppy Potty for Keagan when he was about two or so, but he hasn't really used it much.  It's just easier for him to be on the toilet.  I would still like to get one of those IKEA potties I mentioned in a previous entry because, 1, they are so cheap, and 2, they are small and easier to take with me.  Definitely more convenient in that aspect. I think I may venture out and get one today- braving the Good Friday crowds!

What does Brandon think about it?  He loves it. Last night as Evangeline was sitting on the potty one last time before bed, I asked, "Do you think I'm crazy?"
"No, actually," he replied. "I think it's great. It makes sense!"  He had told me this before, but I thought he was just making me feel better. Ha!  He's read some of my research on it and we've talked about it- I always try to keep him informed on why we are doing what we are doing because I want him to be able to whole-heartedly support it and to "defend" our choices reasonably if need be, instead of saying, "Uh, because my wife wanted to..."  I'm very fortunate in that my husband truly trusts my decision-making when it comes to our children. He has never questioned whether we should homeschool or not vaccinate (we would do selective vaccinations under the right circumstances).  But, I've also never asked him to just blindly agree with me (although, I believe in some areas- like cloth diapering and EC- he would just let me do whatever I wanted).  I especially think that going through our Unassisted Birth journey (Keagan) really bonded us together in this area even more.  I mean, he was flat out against it ("Ew! I don't want baby splooge all over our house!"), but I just piled up a huge binder of information, and continued discussing it with him.  I did such a good job that he didn't want to have a midwife assisted birth with Evangeline!

Anyway, he thinks EC is completely logical, so I'm glad he's on the same page as I am.

Last night, when Evangeline woke up for her feeding, I realized she was completely dry. I really felt giddy about it- I mean, completely dry!  Ideally, I would have liked to nurse her and then set her on the potty, but I figured doing so would make getting her back to sleep difficult, so I nursed her and put her back to bed.  Still- getting through the night in just one diaper (with a feeding at 10pm and 4am) is pretty amazing.  When she woke up at around 7-ish, her diaper was wet, but not completely soaked as it is when she sleeps through the night without a feeding.  I nursed her and set her on the potty.

She did a lot of tooting. The first time she tooted on the potty it was hilarious- I mean, she looked up at me with an expression of shock, then twisted around to check her rear.  Now it's not as shocking to her, and she just goes about her business, checking out her book or gnawing on a toy.  I recognized her pee expression, and went to take her off, but she wasn't having any of it.  She continued sitting there and tooted a few more times.  It probably feels better to toot in the potty rather than a diaper pressed against your butt.

She had peed quite a bit in the potty- double the usual amount, so I know she was trying to hold her pee once she woke up, which is pretty amazing to me.

I set her up a little area by her bed, which is also by a window where there is plenty of natural light flowing in. She liked setting her toys on the window sill and being able to watch the birds perched upon our fence.  I think this is the best potty spot- and it's also a convenient area for me to sit.


And a wipe box makes the perfect foot rest!  Having something to prop her feet on helped her hold the book better.  She loves books. :)


See, she really loves books. Really.  The other day, she sat there (just like that!) for 30 minutes while I read to her. NONE of my other babies have loved being read to as much as she does.

Anyway, I hear her fussing- I think the needs another sit on the potty!  (Excuse any typos!)

Have a blessed Friday, y'all! Resurrection Sunday is coming!

-Mandy

Note:  EC is not potty training. This is not an attempt to potty train our child, but rather provide for her needs, just as breastfeeding provides for her needs (and both also strengthen our bond as a result!).  This is not a new practice. It has been used for thousands of years and is still widely employed in other countries, such as Africa, India, and China.

More information on Elimination Communication is available on these sites:

http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/
http://www.bornpottytrained.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication
http://www.tribalbaby.org/

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Elimination Communication?

Excerpted from Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The wisdom and science of gentle choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting by Sarah J Buckley MD www.sarahjbuckley.com


Is it really possible to raise a baby without diapers? Can our babies actually communicate their elimination needs?

Well, how do you know when your baby needs to breastfeed?

Perhaps you recognise a certain gesture or cry. Perhaps your baby is restless, fist or finger sucking, or has a newborn's blind rooting behaviour. Maybe you also consider when your baby last fed, and whether they might have a special need for the breast because of tiredness, teething or being in an unfamiliar environment. As well, you might think about your infant's activity level; the weather; his or her routine; your routine; and many other factors that you instinctively take into account when you interpret your baby's signals.

And when you offer your breast, you usually get a "Yes" from your baby, but sometimes they will decline, or be only half interested, whether or not you are reading the signals correctly.

However, gradually and gently, you and your baby learn to fit together, communicating with each other and having a mutually satisfying nursing relationship — not to mention saving on all the cost and activity that formula feeding can imply.

Now imagine the same process, but with a focus on what your baby produces, rather than what they take in. This is elimination communication (EC) — also known as elimination timing (ET), natural infant hygiene (NIH), and infant potty training (IPT), among other names — in which we learn to communicate with our babies about their elimination: peeing and pooping.

Just as our babies know their own bodies, and their needs for food and breast, they also know the bodily sensations that go with the need to pee and poop, and they can, and usually do, communicate these needs. They tell us through body language, noises (from the bottom end as well as the top), fussiness, and also by the subtler, psychic communications that result from the intimate sharing of body space between mother and baby.


Read the rest of this article here: Mothering, Mindfulness, & a Baby's Bottom

[Photo of Evangeline, 7 months, on her "puppy potty"]